Week 2 of Summer: 6/26 - 7/2/2016
In playing catch-up, I'm posting Weeks 1 & 2 on this same second week of Summer. Honestly, I'm grateful I'm open to posting at all.
Positivity Project is Kayla Newhook and I celebrating Summer 2016 with a weekly dose of positive quotes, uplifting photos, and shared ideas. Scroll down to see more, and thanks for joining us!
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"Being open" is hard.
Thankfully, we have women like Brené Brown paving the way of vulnerability because fewer than 5 years ago, allowing myself to be that 'open' was strictly forbidden. In my 20's I wasn't always honest with myself, I wasn't a giver of love, and if I was doling out "strength" it was wrought-iron sarcasm - certainly not the integrity and grace I aspire to today.
Ingrid Nilson described her twenties as a "second adolescence" and I completely agree. Everyone is fiercely commanding an identity as they move into adulthood. Then, with age, easing that grip... What was once stigmatized as "settling down" is really the reclamation of open honesty - finding out, where do your love-giving-vibes lie?
(no pun intended)
In my 20s I was adamant about my identity: an Emo, East-Coast-Fuck-You, band-hanger-on who improvised, on stage and in life. It was simple. It avoided dimension - any of which cried out only on livejournal or after 2am.
However, the longer I stayed in a career, in one place, in one mode of life - personal truths started breaking through. I learned and am leaning about what's important to me and what matters in my life.
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But - HOW - do we get honest with ourselves? Is this a process you can speed up or instigate? Or should you "just know". The only truth, really, is - it's different for everyone.
Even people who are "born knowing" who they are and what they want to do in life, still evolve through awareness ("growing up"). Time takes time, some of this growth can happen naturally - Many eastern practices denote life cycles of 7 or 9 years and I hear my upcoming 33rd birthday is kind of a big deal. However, over the last half decade, I have transformed. Through dedicated, introspective learning, writing, and action-taking, I have shifted into a lifestyle of knowledge-seeking, an ever-deepening pursuit of honesty and openness.
Seeking openness, honesty, and your inner truth takes time, patience, and compassion. I suggest finding support while doing this kind of work. Find people you can trust, who are willing to be open with you, not judge or advise, just share in the vulnerability and experience. Here are some forms this work can take:
- individual therapy
- group therapy
- 12-step groups
- accountability partner or groups
- your best friend over text
- anonymous support groups or individuals online
- an older mentor who has been through similar growth
Also, I get it - sometimes, this work is more comfortable solo:
- Psychology Today has some personality quiz starters
- Find your Core Values
- Check out some inspiring ladies, for instance: Danielle LaPorte, Tara Brach, the women linked to above, Jes Baker, and so much more - think of a trait you want and google "women who have...." and start exploring the variety of colorful paths!
- Write your own ACT Matrix to discover what actions move you toward the person you want to be and what sticky habits keep you in the shadows.
- Google it.
These aren't the only approaches to completing a personal inventory and living more openly and honestly but I'm grateful for just how many ways there are to explore. A little bit of truth will carry you a long way so tuck in - let's aspire to be open, if not always, then often.
All the love. x/Amy