Positivity Project - Week 6 - Summer Blues

Week 6 of Summer: 7/24 - 7/30/2016

Summer is supposed to be a time of NO STRESS, chillaxin', and worldly adventure. However, that's just not always the case. Sometimes, it's hard to relax and plans get all crazy. Also, some people get the Summer blues. There's no guarantee we get to be happy just because it's Summer. We all face seasons of sadness, it's often cornered off to Seasonal-Affective's winter months, but the struggle of being bummed out in July is definitely real.

The important thing here is - not the season, not the world, not your parents, not your boss - No one changes you but you. Keep faith and keep moving. As you shift, everything else shifts too - and even if they're shifts of the smallest size, it matters.

For instance - my anxiety always takes place at night. Falling asleep, being in the right temperature, the perfect position, no upsetting noises, dark, calm - I NEED all those conditions, plus more to fall asleep. I have adapted a bit, but it's still an ordeal, believe me. However, back when I was first noticing this difficulty, I had no coping skills. I still get flustered, upset, restless, and sometimes irate when anxiety and difficulty falling asleep consumes me. The process of learning how to cope with my sleep-anxiety, especially during insufficient-air-conditioning DC Summers, has been a years-long process, I am still working on. However my first idea was - 

I slept the other way. I put my head at the foot of the bed and psyched myself out and often, it helped me fall asleep. "Silly Amy, you're not supposed to sleep this way, this is ridiculous," and the offset was usually just enough to cut through "I AM IN BED I HAVE TO BE SLEEPING" and lull me to sleep. This is not to say this will work for anyone else, it is to say - the littlest, most ridiculous sounding trick just might help. 

Do you have something you struggle with in the Summer? Do you feel more lonely? More burned out (and not just by the sun)? - If Summer blues happen to you, just know you're not alone. Always reach out - on tumblr, a therapy app, IRL, or even to me.

Just try one small different thing and maybe you won't see or feel anything different in that moment - but - with repetition comes mastery and things will move, everything passes with time, and your feelings will always shift. I'm not saying anxiety and depression are simple. What I'm saying is that once you're aware, you can chip away at the problem and be less consumed by it, because, isn't that really all we want. There are no magic cures for anything, so we can work together on indulging in the miraculous yet slow-moving satisfaction of progress. 

Take care.

x/Amy

Positivity Project - Week 5 - spirituality as normal life-stuff

Week 5 of Summer: 7/17 - 7/23/2016

Grow free, work to become, beware the illusion of material fulfillment.

We don't question nature. We accept it, as it, thanks to science and it's daily display of existence without control. 

I have faith and spirituality in much the same way. If we can agree on the energies of the universe (from still air to aggressive rain to the admirable routine of ocean waves, never mind things like electricity and space exploration) then we can agree there is more at play here than our measly minds. 

Powers greater than yourself you can harness without ever having to talk religion or G-O-D:

1. WRITE: you + pen + paper = more than just one of those elements, 3 is greater than 1.
2. MOVE: changing your position in the universe will actually shift things, as in moving out of the way of an oncoming vehicle!
3. DON'T MOVE: plants don't move much while they're growing, eh? we all need time to be calm, still, and just be one with this huge, wild world, yes, it's meditation, but break it down - it's not as frou frou as people sometimes make it.
4. COOK, CLEAN, SHOWER: Self-care is one of the highest spiritual acts.
5. LAUGH: there's tons of scientific evidence backing this one up, and you love science, right?

If you're doing these things, then you have a grounded, spiritual practice and you don't even know it!

Part of life, goal-setting, and being happy (that illusive, made-up phrase) is putting a lot of time into caring for yourself. It takes time to step away from the distractions and the Kardashians but noticing your own existence is hugely better and more fulfilling in the long rung. 

Little shifts lead to lots of love!

x/Amy

Positivity Project - Week 4 - To Plan Or Not To Plan

Week 4 of Summer: 7/10 - 7/16/2016

At the beginning of the Summer, I made a Design Your Summer to-do list (thanks Gretchen Rubin!). I have been able to check a good amount of them off, highlights include (black-light!) mini-golf and flatwater tubing down the Potomac at Harper's Ferry. All of this sounds like a lot of planning, doesn't it? 

Planning well in advance feels more casual and ideal. Planning the week of feels stressed and overwrought. That's mostly what I.ve learned. Last minute decision between black-light and traditional mini-golf felt fun, last minute choices regarding how to pull off tubing was.... a real magic-killer. As soon as you lose that 'Summer Stars' feeling try to do what you can to avoid the stressy zone of over-planning.  

• Plan in a way that feels comfortable - do you like big groups or small, planning with someone, divide tasks, etc. 
• Know the people you're going with - their preferences on how an event or day might go.
• Think about food, water, equipment, length of time - all WELL beforehand. 
• REMEMBER God's plan (or energy, weather, any larger power) is not a logistical nightmare; it either works or it doesn't and the mess in between is usually of your own making!

The goal is to not drive yourself crazy over something that is supposed to be fun. I grew up in a snowglobe of tense logistics - such is the LIFEof a latchkey, separate-homes kid. While I appreciate structure (seriously, like a lot) I also have needed to learn, as an adult, when to cut myself a break, let it go, and let the chips and stars fall where they may.

x/Amy

Positivity Project - Week 3 - Tale of Two Inspos

Week 3 of Summer: 7/3 - 7/9

Are these quotes conflicting messages?

Self-motivation and self-love are separate. It is important to nurture and accept yourself as you are - flaws, struggles, and all. It's also important to reflect and take notice of areas you'd like to keep growing in - NOT as a criticism but as a way to develop more happiness. 

I sometimes snap at people. I have a sharp tongue and I always think I'm right. However, moving through life with love and compassion is my goal. Every successful athlete has some off-games. The goal is to move through those with awareness and compassion toward the self - one of the most difficult things to cultivate. 

Ways I demonstrate self-compassion:

1. I let myself be me - feel my feelings, speak unfiltered, get to the honesty of something, there's always time to review and move beyond.

2. Positive self-talk.

3. Listen to videos by people like Danielle LaPorte and Tony Robbins or check in with my body-pos tribe.

4. I take alone time.

5. I speak openly and very honestly with people I trust. 

There are so many ways to make little shifts that will, in turn, lead to bigger self-love. Sleeping naked is a tip I found this summer (though I still demand panties because fear of creatures) and it's just a nice release and relief - that I love myself to be nude and unbound in any way especially or at the very least in the unending comfort of my own bed. 

Little steps lead to loads of love!

x/Amy

Positivity Project - Week 2 - Know Thyself

Week 2 of Summer: 6/26 - 7/2/2016

In playing catch-up, I'm posting Weeks 1 & 2 on this same second week of Summer. Honestly, I'm grateful I'm open to posting at all. 

Positivity Project is Kayla Newhook and I celebrating Summer 2016 with a weekly dose of positive quotes, uplifting photos, and shared ideas. Scroll down to see more, and thanks for joining us! 

credit: unknown

"Being open" is hard. 

Thankfully, we have women like Brené Brown paving the way of vulnerability because fewer than 5 years ago, allowing myself to be that 'open' was strictly forbidden. In my 20's I wasn't always honest with myself, I wasn't a giver of love, and if I was doling out "strength" it was wrought-iron sarcasm - certainly not the integrity and grace I aspire to today. 

Ingrid Nilson described her twenties as a "second adolescence" and I completely agree. Everyone is fiercely commanding an identity as they move into adulthood. Then, with age, easing that grip... What was once stigmatized as "settling down" is really the reclamation of open honesty - finding out, where do your love-giving-vibes lie? 

(no pun intended) 

In my 20s I was adamant about my identity: an Emo, East-Coast-Fuck-You, band-hanger-on who improvised, on stage and in life. It was simple. It avoided dimension - any of which cried out only on livejournal or after 2am. 

However, the longer I stayed in a career, in one place, in one mode of life - personal truths started breaking through. I learned and am leaning about what's important to me and what matters in my life.

credit: unknown

But - HOW - do we get honest with ourselves? Is this a process you can speed up or instigate? Or should you "just know". The only truth, really, is - it's different for everyone. 

Even people who are "born knowing" who they are and what they want to do in life, still evolve through awareness ("growing up"). Time takes time, some of this growth can happen naturally - Many eastern practices denote life cycles of 7 or 9 years and I hear my upcoming 33rd birthday is kind of a big deal. However, over the last half decade, I have transformed.  Through dedicated, introspective learning, writing, and action-taking, I have shifted into a lifestyle of knowledge-seeking, an ever-deepening pursuit of honesty and openness. 

Seeking openness, honesty, and your inner truth takes time, patience, and compassion. I suggest finding support while doing this kind of work. Find people you can trust, who are willing to be open with you, not judge or advise, just share in the vulnerability and experience. Here are some forms this work can take:

• individual therapy
• group therapy
• 12-step groups
• accountability partner or groups
• your best friend over text 
• anonymous support groups or individuals online
• an older mentor who has been through similar growth

Also, I get it - sometimes, this work is more comfortable solo:

• Psychology Today has some personality quiz starters
• Find your Core Values
• Check out some inspiring ladies, for instance: Danielle LaPorte, Tara Brach, the women linked to above, Jes Baker, and so much more - think of a trait you want and google "women who have...." and start exploring the variety of colorful paths!
• Write your own ACT Matrix to discover what actions move you toward the person you want to be and what sticky habits keep you in the shadows.
• Google it.

These aren't the only approaches to completing a personal inventory and living more openly and honestly but I'm grateful for just how many ways there are to explore. A little bit of truth will carry you a long way so tuck in - let's aspire to be open, if not always, then often. 

All the love. x/Amy

Positivity Project - Week 1 - Deconstruction

Week one of Summer: 06/20 - 06/25/2016

• The first day of Summer.
• Summer Solstice
• Strawberry Full Moon

It's officially the Summer!

(...and has been for over a week, work with me here...)

Kayla Newhook and I are celebrating Summer 2016 with a weekly dose of positive quotes and uplifting pictures. Follow along here or start a practice of your own:

1. Find a partner (text, group chat, email, whatever).
2. Pick a frequency or day of the week.
3. Send one quote and one picture.
4. Pause. 
5. Smile!

In this challenging world, cultivating the positive requires practice. We're always resolving to conquer things like self-care, eating well, meditating, and the like. However, smaller steps do more to encourage these larger shifts.

In fact, I proved my first quote right - I haven't blogged since April. I've been going through some personal, emotional shifts and blogging became the task that is never started (up again). My progress slowed. I utilized some of Gretchen Rubin's cues, such as accountability and convenience, to reignite my interest in posting through this project. One small text to Kayla, lead to pictures, lead to being late, lead to not wanting to drop the idea entirely, which ultimately lead to this post and me writing again.

View fullsize

credit: unknown

Break the big tasks down to the smallest, most accessible steps - which could be simply writing it down, texting someone about it, or even just setting a reminder in your phone!

Happiness is built on progress and oftentimes progress starts very small. Take comfort in Whitman's words and know that moving toward sunshine always involves wading through a storm. 

While I've been in a bit of a storm, I try to focus on the small things I have done. Cleaning, cat care, speaking kind words, letting myself rest, and enjoying the gorgeous sun are all ways I've embraced life - even while feeling like my spirit baby over there - the one aaaall the way to the right, 'just leave me here, this couch is the only thing holding me up'..... because I know this ebb will flow, again.

Holistic health coach CAIT BYRNES on SUGAR

Getting Real About Sugar

BY CAIT BYRNES

Sugar, wtf.    

So I’m in the middle of my first Whole 30, which I didn’t think would be terribly difficult for me.  30 days of no grains (I already don’t eat gluten), no dairy (already there), no legumes (eh, I can take them or leave them), and no added sugar – natural or otherwise (small amounts of fruit are ok).  I thought, no problem, I don’t eat THAT much sugar.  I’m generally a pretty healthy eater, right?

I was so wrong.

I AM generally a healthy eater, but what I didn’t realize is just how much hidden sugar there is in the everyday foods I was eating.  I definitely noticed some withdrawal type symptoms, similar to when trying to get off caffeine. I was feeling sort of angry, headachy, tired, and annoyed.  I think it really hit me when I was starving, walking around the grocery store trying to find a quick option for dinner and figured I’d pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Every single one had a form of sugar.  On chicken?  Really?

Everything from pickled peppers, to ketchup, to Emergen-C, to deli meat.  Everything my partner picked up and asked frantically “CAN I HAVE THIS” was a solid no, due to some form of sugar. 

It’s terrifying.  And it’s been a huge eye opener.

Food companies say they add sugar to their products to “enhance taste” but really, they do it to get you hooked.  Sugar lights up the same pleasure centers of our brain that a drug would, and once you have one hit you always want more.  Our bodies are hardwired to crave sugar in particular, because in the days of hunting and gathering, something sweet was a quick form of energy (Keep in mind, fruit was the sweetest thing you could typically find.  Not nearly as much sugar as that gluten-free donut).  It makes it extremely difficult to say no when that food comes up again.  And yet, we’re often told it’s a “lack of will power” that causes us to cave into food cravings.

No, asshole.  It’s you and all your added sugar. 

The other thing that’s been really striking to me is the way that I tend to use sugar, or food in general, in response to my emotions.  I knew I was sort of doing that, but this is the first time I’ve really had to challenge that, instead of giving in.  Generally, my idea of giving into a sweet tooth was a banana with almond butter, or some dark chocolate, but the point is that I’m reaching for those things for comfort, instead of dealing with whatever is going on. It’s been difficult, but I’m grateful for the chance to ask myself “what am I really craving here?”  I really noticed it when I had a few big projects due at the same time and was getting stressed out, and my first thought was “I just need a treat.”

No. I just need to sit down and do my work.  And maybe drink some extra water, write in my journal and take a nap.

To anyone considering a Whole 30, I can say wholeheartedly to give it a go.  Planning and prepping makes it a lot easier (so you don’t end up frantic and starving in the grocery store, like me), and it’s so SO worth it to be forced to take a good hard look at your current diet.  My body is super grateful for the break from sugar, and I’ll be sure to report more from the other side.

How about you?  Do you struggle with sugar cravings? Let me know in the comments below!

-

Note from Amy: Thank you, Cait for sharing this awesome post on my blog. Everyone should check Cait out - especially those in the Baltimore/ DMV area - she is hella beautiful and stylish (she even does burlesque!) and crazy motivating - getting to see her grow her holistic health practice keeps me on my toes! Thanks, love! 

x/Amy

Found Style -a discourse on closet curation-

BACKSTORY 

My interest in fashion grew out of my love for the 2004 Emo scene, Sex and the City, and binge-watching What Not to Wear. I had to find a way to express myself through fashion without having the funds to simply replicate the pages of Lucky or Vogue. Fortunately, it's never been easier to take big inspiration and make small changes to grow your wardrobe and style. 

1. Screw magazine subscriptions; use Instagram, tumblr and other apps. 
2. Inventory often - both what you own and what style you're making your own. 
3. Survey seasonal trends and implement with pieces you already have. 
4. Utilize friends, family, and gift opportunities wisely. 
5. Stay connected with your fashion inspiration - from body positive models to spiritual, lifestyle mavens. I will explore all of these tactics and more through August as I survey where my style and skill stand today.

How has your personal style journey unfolded? Would love to hear about your relationship with clothes. Comment below. 

x/Amy