[ A M Y  K O C U R ]
[ A M Y K O C U R ]


New Years Unresolved

People are very bold and declarative around this time of year. Does it work? Is that part of the resolution?   

There are a lot of voices debating ‘new year, new you’ and whether or not you should be aggressively Type A or defiantly self-protective simply because the calendar is revolving. Doesn't matter if it's positive or negative it's all aggro.


Personal freedom allows you to be/ do/ say whatever you want, without proclamations or defense. Loud and proud doesn't really mean anything when Facebook is curated, altered, and filtered best-self BS anyway. 

I was formerly IDGAF about new year’s resolutions. Then for a span of 4 or so years I submitted to that aggressively Type A recommendation and, really, nothing ‘extra’ came out of it. In fact, all of the change I have achieved throughout my life has been years-long sustained effort, focusing and refocusing, giving myself a break, seizing opportunities, and generally just ‘working on it’ for YEARS.

This desperate seeking of endpoints (perfect job, ideal weight, marriage, being published or garnering some idea of fame, forever-home, or forever-anything) is self-defeating pressure at best and completely ridiculous and self-denying at worst.

We have an endpoint - it’s death. Appreciate every day as an opportunity for progress because perfection is lame and/or an illusion and why set yourself up trail-markers for disappointment and self-criticism? 

Did you know:

  • You can be subtle.
  • You can be wishy-washy on goals or personal reform.
  • You do not have to lose weight or change careers, reorganize your life, or slam declarations on your facebook feed like some boot-camp Betty. (sexist)
After spending a year wading through a majority of readily available online and IRL self-help: radical self-love blogs; career transformation workshops; spiritual gurus; extensive yoga and personal wellness courses; IMCW community meditation, and so on the impact it had on my resolutions for 2016 is this:
  • Art
  • Service

  • Action

Literally taking any action of any kind will mean I’m meeting my goals for this year. I also want to create more and  help others. Previously it was always fix finances!, lose weight, get healthy!, move abroad! - while these are good ideas and worthy things to work on -- they’re not leaving my mind, whether I put them on an agitated list of declarations or not. They’re still there. However, when I reflect on what I’ve learned through both experience and my reactions to these ‘gurus’ - making space for the feelings I need (rested, healthy, creatively productive, and full of joy and laughter) has much more of a positive impact than driving home pressure-filled, socially enforced demands.

These are just ideas - I still love getting Type A on my closet arrangement or to-do lists, regardless of how much I encourage some part of me to become a hippie. Mostly, I wish you the energy to do what makes you feel good and right with yourself. Give yourself freedom and compassion. Memes don't mean much - just be true to you - whether that's running a fitspo tumblr or ignoring dieting because other real-life shit is going. 

Social media can be great support, the line is where that turns to pressure or critique. 

What do you think? -- What are your ideas for the coming months? Big plans? Small habits to be revised? I’d love to work together on things we may have in common, feature your posts on the subject, etc - please comment or get in touch!



Amy KocurComment